Gestational Diabetes... or not?

Sorry about my last post - I'm in a better mood today, I think. Moving on.

At 30 weeks 6 days, I did my one-hour glucose test. (Why so late in the pregnancy? Your guess is as good as mine.) This was on a Friday. The following Monday, I got a phone call from my nurse saying I didn't do so well and that I needed to schedule a three-hour test at the lab. So I did.

The test was to be Wednesday (2 days later). I followed all the instructions - even the unbearable TOTAL fasting including WATER (which I later learned isn't the norm, but that was what my nurse told me to do) after midnight the night before. So I drag my fatigued, undernourished parched body to the lab Wednesday morning. They draw my blood, I chug the nasty drink in my 5-minute time limit, and am sent back out into the waiting room until the next blood draw. The problem is, I didn't make it to the next one. About 20 minutes into the test, I felt really nauseous and weak. I thought I would cheat a little bit and just sip from my bottle of water to feel better, and figured a couple ounces of water over 3 hours wouldn't make or break the test. But as soon as I bent down to get the water out of my bag, I had a problem. I ran (literally) to the back, looked for a bathroom, and proceeded to throw up before I was even able to get the door closed. I was having cold sweats, and felt terrible. I told the front desk clerk I had just thrown up my glucose drink and she said "I know, I just got off the phone with your nurse. She wants you to reschedule." and handed me a phone number.

So I spent the rest of the day trying to recover and called my nurse on Thursday. I explained to her how badly I felt during that test and asked for any alternatives. (sidenote: I'd already done some research on alternative testing methods and was prepared for a variety of options) However, she said that because we were so late in the pregnancy (NOT MY FAULT) that she was going to have to refer me to a gestational diabetes counselor. My first thought was, that sounds expensive. But I agreed and was told to wait for a phone call regarding my appointment.

The next Monday, now at 31 weeks 2 days, I get a call from my hospital. It's someone saying that I've been referred to them for the gestational diabetes CLASS and could I attend on Thursday, March 10? (which will put me at 33 weeks, 5 days.) Sure, I can attend. It's a 4 hour class with a 30 minute lunch break. But I ask her what I should be doing in the mean time to keep the potential situation under control. She stutters for a minute and I realize she's not a nurse. She does scheduling. I thank her for her time, and start reading online what I should be eating and how.

After hours of research, a relatively expensive grocery trip, and lots of agony and feeling like a slave to this body I'm not sure is even mine, I realize something. I MAY NOT have GD. I didn't fail the three-hour test. I just threw up nasty sugary stuff that I would throw up NOT pregnant on an empty stomach. And I was refused a re-test using an alternative method.

So what do I do, now? I've been trying to eat along the lines of the sample diets I found online for GD, but they're so limiting and I feel really stressed out seeing as how I haven't had (and am not set up to  have) ANY one-on-one counseling, like I was thinking I might get. So I'm following someone ELSE'S GD diet and can only find a few sample menus, so I'm really having trouble guessing what's okay and what's not based on those. So last night, I was fed up with the confusion and the stress. And I ate pancakes. And aside from heartburn, which happens pretty much any time I eat anything, I felt fine. And this morning for breakfast, I  had Cheerios. And for lunch I had McDonalds (not my first choice, but circumstances led me there since it's the closest and fastest place to grab lunch while I'm at work). And I feel fine! I guess I've fallen off the GD wagon... and I sort of feel justified since NOBODY told me what I needed to be doing between when I spoke with them and the counseling class.

I'm just so confused about what to do. So stressed about the diet and what's okay and what's not. So annoyed I'm not getting any one-on-one help and with the fact that they waited late in the game to test me, and so all this is being sort of rushed. Nobody has ever even told me my glucose levels, or suggested I test them on my own at home between meals to see what's going on for myself. Honestly, this is ridiculous and if I knew then what I know now, I would have requested to take the one-hour test earlier, and then if I failed, I would ask for alternatives to the traditional three-hour method in the very beginning, so that I could really be tested. I don't want to "assume" I have GD and feel this miserable about not knowing what I can and can't eat all the time for the next 4-8 weeks.

And do I even bother attending the class next Thursday? Luckily I have a doctor appointment on Monday and am going to express to him my frustrations and concerns and see what he has to say about it. Ugh.

Vent...

I know I haven't kept up with this - I kind of knew I wouldn't. But I need a place to vent anonymously.

I hate being pregnant. I haven't felt GOOD even one singular, full day. And now that I have a giant belly and my upper arms and thighs are bigger than they used to be, I feel like I'm trapped in some huge, painful, uncomfortable body and the only saving grace is this little girl is the light at the end of the tunnel.

I hate when people, family and friends included, want to touch my belly. Or look at my belly and tell me how cute it is. It's NOT CUTE. I HATE IT. It makes me feel fat and uncomfortable and miserable. I hate that strangers want to tell me congratulations or to ask me if I know what I'm having. I HATE HATE HATE when people tell me "wow, you're due next month? It's gone by so fast!" Ha! No, it has NOT gone by fast when you feel exhausted all day every day, have incredible back pain and rib pain, and random vomiting throughout the last two thirds of the pregnancy.

Oh, and here's the best part. The unsolicited advice. I hate  unsolicited advice more than anything in the world. If I wanted to know what you thought I should eat or drink or do or buy, I would ask you. But I didn't, so don't tell me.

I'm just having a bad day and needed somewhere to go, anonymously, and get some of this out. Thank you for reading, if you did.